As much as I want to ‘think’ I am doing really well, moments in my life always bring me back to reality. Parenting is really HARD and each time a conflict happens I find myself drowning in chaos. I am sucked into a vortex of emotions that seems to only escalate when all control is being taken away. My inner 2-year old emerges, as does the raised voice, which puts me on a path of spiraling downward. This is where the crux of the matter happens, and I can either give up completely or persevere and try again.
~Personally, giving up sounds really easy, being done with the crazy and just live!
~Unfortunately, my personality will not let me do that, nor when I look deep within do I necessarily will this. So I assess the situation, ponder over what is not working, tweak to the likes of what can immediately be changed and continue on my journey of parenthood.
~I know it will only be a matter of time before another triggering moment happens and I am back to feeling that somehow I have failed. At least its a short-lived failure, that perhaps is not really failing at all. Just a passing moment, which is intense with emotion but needs a broader perspective.
~Ironically, after my ‘crazy moment’ this quote pops up on my social media. Life is so like that isn’t it? A situation arises and a simplistic answer comes in the most unexpected way. After reading, reading, and re-reading this quote several times I knew exactly where I needed to be as a parent, CALM. How in a world that is so noisy can we bring harmony to the soul of ourself and those around us, by intentionally being calm. This method in theory is an appealing idea, but practically living it out is where the struggle will be. The brain is so hard-wired one way, and yet re-wiring it so there can be a positive change will be a constant commitment on my behalf.
Here is an excerpt from an article I read from Psychology Today ‘Rewire Your Brain for Love.’
‘Research shows that certain habits do rewire our brains. Habits like meditation, exercise, feeling gratitude, and serving a higher good actually change our bodies and brains so that over time we can regulate ourselves better emotionally. (Our immune systems work better, too!).’
~Parenting little people is by far one of the hardest jobs on the planet!!! So don’t lose heart we have all been there, the feelings are real acknowledge them, forgive yourself and intentionally plan to have a different outcome next time.
We Are In This Together!